Trying on Pants

May 23, 2016

Let’s see if I can get this post done before my 21 month old toddler wakes up!  He’s been sleeping for 2.25 hours already, but 3 hour naps are within his norm (thankfully!)

Yesterday I took the opportunity to shop for some “new” clothes at the thrift store while my boy napped while my husband stayed home.

I started the day feeling great.  I am at the point in my cycle just after ovulation, which seems to be a good time of the month for feeling optimal.  However–

I noticed that with trying on more and more pants by stepping into and out of pant after pant after pant, I started “feeling it.”  As is often the case, that means that I feel a certain hard-to-describe discomfort (really hard to describe, actually) just behind/above my pubic bone.

I think the feeling is somehow coming from my bladder not quite sitting right.  Who knows?  I could go crazy trying to figure this thing out.

But anyway…the point is that I noticed this happening.  Then I started using the seat in the fitting room to sit on while I donned and doffed pant legs.  It’s the little things that make a difference, y’all!

Now I’m conscious about sitting down more here and there while getting dressed at home.

To end this short post (because I am still going to try to blog more often, really!) I shall write down the quote that was the FIRST thing I saw when I popped open my Facebook page today…

It was posted by a page called “Daily Thoughts” and it said:

“Your body’s ability to heal is greater than anyone has permitted you to believe.”

Ahhhh!  PEACE!  TRUTH!

And my boy is just now waking up as I push “publish” (it’s now been 2.75 hours…)

I am healed.

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Second Mother’s Day Update

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Oh, my!  I’m getting so bad about posting.  Sorry to anyone who has been nice enough to reach out to me in the past, to tell me that my posts are helpful!

Since my last post I’ve had a lot of ups and downs, honestly!  Ever since I was pregnant I seem to be particularly emotional at times, and I don’t like it.

I’ve had days when I want and do cry.  And I’ve had days strung together when I feel good enough to think that I might someday feel normal again.

Remember my post about thong underwear?  Well, yep, I can’t say enough how much a positive difference such a tiny piece of material makes for me.  It’s crazy.  I just don’t feel the same in my other undies or when I walk naked from shower to bedroom.

Another topic– food.  I’ve been paying close attention to how certain foods affect my prolapse symptoms.  I’ve realized that when my intestines feel more gassy, I feel more symptomatic.  I have a lot of control over managing this, which gives me peace!  I may elaborate on this on a future post.

Weeding.  This week I got out in the yard again for the first time in a long time.  The last time I did some weeding was when I was ?? months postpartum and feeling a lot worse than I do now.  Seasonal activities are great markers of my progress.  What a difference!

Out skating…again!  Yesterday I was rollerblading.  It’s been a while since I did that, too.  Rollerblading was always one of the very best activities for my “condition,” but skating now feels even better than it did before (except that I’m feeling super out of shape at present!).

Mother’s Day.  Through this whole process, my little boy continues to fuel my smiles, my joy and my positivity.  He brightens my mood when it’s already high and he brings me out of my funks when my emotions get the best of me.  I love my son more than I could ever describe!

I am healed.

 

Coughing is the Worst

February 29, 2016

I used to put coughing, sneezing, laughing and blowing my nose all in the same category of things that are NO good for prolapse…but I’ve definitely decided that coughing is the very worst!

When I blow my nose, I can put myself in a position where I feel pretty darn protected.  (I lean my forearms on a counter, stick my butt out/up and keep my belly relaxed.)

Sneezes are pretty sketchy but they’re relatively rare and they’re over fast.  I try to sit down or grab myself if I have time…which helps.

Of course, who doesn’t like to “belly laugh” as much as possible?
{{ Ladies with prolapse symptoms }}

And– my husband knows better than to try to casually tickle me.

BUT

Coughing is brutal!!

I’ve been dealing with a cold that hasn’t been so bad except for the coughing.  Ugh!  It feels like all my dedicated work with keeping my posture (and therefore pelvic organs) “in check” is undone when I’m forced to cough, cough and cough again.

Every time I cough I know that things aren’t right!  It’s weird because I feel so much better in a lot of ways but yet the pressure from coughing is horrible.  I’ll definitely be thankful once the coughing stops!

For now, I’ll remain peaceful knowing that despite the coughing, I’m still doing fine.  Things could be worse!

I am healed.

Random Goings-On At 18 Months PP

February 27, 2016

I’m still here!  Really, I am.  I’ve just been lazy about blogging lately.  Mostly busy doing other things.  So I’m going to make this sort of a random post to catch you up (in no particular order)…

  1. My baby (toddler) turned a year and a half on the 21st of this month, which means that I’m still dealing with prolapse symptoms a year and half later BUT I still feel like I’m getting better.
  2. I feel it in my gut that the next 6 months will show a lot more progress.  I’m psyched about that.
  3. I keep thinking lately how it’s really true that now I’m so often dealing with symptoms that are “just” annoying, instead of one year ago when I did feel like things were falling out (that was truly disturbing and awful).
  4. I keep wondering how much of my droopy and/or bulgy tissues are really prolapse-related vs. related to how my perineal tissues healed up after being a) stretched out by a baby who took f-o-r-e-v-e-r to come out, b) cut by an episiotomy, c) stitched back together (in the stretched out position keep in mind!), and d) slowly shortening and toning up again.
  5. It used to be that I’d start my day feeling the “best” right out of bed in the morning (even if the best wasn’t so great).  Now it seems like right out of bed in the morning isn’t the best time.  I feel better after I’ve been up a while.
  6. I’m getting better at “adjusting” my pelvic organs into a better position.  I have a technique that works for me.
  7. Chest Up is key!  When I stand back up after bending down for something, I do a hard and quick Chest Up! and can feel a difference.
  8. I think I’m getting my symptoms of bulginess primarily from a) my urethra, which I believe is dropped a bit, and b) a section of lumpy tissue from my episiotomy healing posteriorly that is likely being further pressed on by a mild rectocele.
  9. OH– and my menstrual cycles are all out of whack at the moment.  After getting used to a fairly predictable ~25 day cycle for many months (with an increasingly predictable and cyclical prolapse symptom pattern), I’m now still waiting for my period at day 34, while last month I got a period at day 21.
  10. I can only be pregnant if my husband’s vasectomy failed, by the way.  (Please, no!)
  11. With the goofy menstrual cycle this month, I seem to be feeling like I’ve had the “fertile” cervical mucus forever and ever without end.  Is my body doing a big ramp-up in its fertility before the big crash of menopause?  Who knows.
  12. Skiing is still going good!  Telemark skiing is the best.  I skied today and it was awesome!
  13. Today I thought this:  I’M in charge of making my mood be completely *unaffected* by the pesky sensations that continue on a daily basis.  I was skiing along in peace as I thought this.  My mood shall remain positive.
  14. I need to keep working on getting in my raspberry leaf tea and my gotu kola tea daily.  I do think they help.  For some reason, though, it’s a chore for me to fix something so simple.
  15. I need to keep repeating in my head “I am healed” as I fall asleep at night (I’ve gotten out of the habit).  I manifest that.
  16. It occurred to me recently that it’s finally (mercifully) starting to feel like my childbirth trauma is going more and more into the PAST rather than staying fresh and recent in practically the present.  Thank goodness!
  17. The second year of healing is way better than the first, yes indeed!
  18. It’s really hard on me physically when I have to bend down and pick up a toddler who occasionally fights me by turning into a flaccid noodle.  I hate that!
  19. The more I do the Whole Woman Posture, the better I get at fine tuning it.  It’s really something that you have to do for many months (at least for me) in order to get good at it.
  20. I’m still a work in progress.   I tell my toddler to be patient with himself so I must be patient with myself.
  21. I will continue to blog whenever I feel like it.  As much as possible!  Until next time…
  22. Feedback from you, my blog readers…what’s helping to heal you?  How are you doing?  Share with me…

I am healed.

Abdominal Symptoms

February 2, 2016

Just a quick post to mention that lately it’s my lower abdominal area that is giving me my most annoying prolapse symptoms.  That’s a switch!  Before, it was (very!) clearly my perineum that was the source of all my discomfort.  The feelings of pressure/irritation/bulginess were always DOWN THERE.

But these days, I’m enjoying spans of time when I do feel significantly more “closed” and “lifted.”  It definitely doesn’t feel like anything is falling out or on the verge of doing so.  That gives me peace, right there!

However– I’m trying to figure out these abdominal symptoms that I’m having.  It seems like they are due to my prolapse issues, but yet they are mysterious…

I am due for my yearly “well check-up” with my doctor.  I think I’ll schedule that visit soon.

This is what I’m feeling:

  • a heightened “awareness” of what’s going on in my lower abdomen
  • sometimes it seems like the area is more bloated than it was before
  • sometimes I wonder if my intestines moved into a different place when I was pregnant…and they didn’t go back to their old location
  • the feeling in my abdomen is hard to describe but feels like a mild buzzing or a subtle internal irritation or possibly the mildest cramp
  • the slight discomfort is accompanied by an internal feeling of “lack of support.”  I notice the lack of support in general, but it’s definitely a lot worse if I attempt to carry any loads in front of me (just one example).
  • my abdominal muscles seem to be more “stretched out” because I no longer suck in my tummy and I don’t do ab work.  I’m not talking about the skin, but the muscles.
  • I feel like it’s my bladder that is the source of these new symptoms

I am still physically healing.  That much is true.  My body is taking its own pace with that.  I’m sitting back (but not literally) and giving my body its own time.  Slow and steady.

I want to have this checked out (only to rule out anything serious) but I do suspect that I’m just getting some extra sensory input from my organs’ gradual shift back to normalcy.  Time will tell!

And so I notice my belly/bladder more than I want to.  I look forward to the day when I don’t notice, notice, notice sensations all the time.  That will be nice when I have that (healthy) lack of feeling.

I am healed.