Trying on Pants

May 23, 2016

Let’s see if I can get this post done before my 21 month old toddler wakes up!  He’s been sleeping for 2.25 hours already, but 3 hour naps are within his norm (thankfully!)

Yesterday I took the opportunity to shop for some “new” clothes at the thrift store while my boy napped while my husband stayed home.

I started the day feeling great.  I am at the point in my cycle just after ovulation, which seems to be a good time of the month for feeling optimal.  However–

I noticed that with trying on more and more pants by stepping into and out of pant after pant after pant, I started “feeling it.”  As is often the case, that means that I feel a certain hard-to-describe discomfort (really hard to describe, actually) just behind/above my pubic bone.

I think the feeling is somehow coming from my bladder not quite sitting right.  Who knows?  I could go crazy trying to figure this thing out.

But anyway…the point is that I noticed this happening.  Then I started using the seat in the fitting room to sit on while I donned and doffed pant legs.  It’s the little things that make a difference, y’all!

Now I’m conscious about sitting down more here and there while getting dressed at home.

To end this short post (because I am still going to try to blog more often, really!) I shall write down the quote that was the FIRST thing I saw when I popped open my Facebook page today…

It was posted by a page called “Daily Thoughts” and it said:

“Your body’s ability to heal is greater than anyone has permitted you to believe.”

Ahhhh!  PEACE!  TRUTH!

And my boy is just now waking up as I push “publish” (it’s now been 2.75 hours…)

I am healed.

Changes

November 8, 2015

I think this is going to be a random kind of post.  I’m a bit tired, so I should try to whip this out fast and get to bed, right?  It’s almost 10 PM and you know what that means…right?

Real quick…

I worked a ~10 hour day today, but my patients were “easy” on my body.  Fortunately!  I didn’t have to physically exert myself much.

I started the day feeling “quite good,” and– for the first time– I realized that I wasn’t really feeling “pressure” as much as I was feeling like I had a tampon not quite inserted all of the way in.  Do you know that feeling?  The way I felt today was actually less uncomfortable than the “stuck tampon” feeling, though.

Then…

By afternoon it was clear that things were shifting…or something…because I had more of that old sensation of “things are falling out down there.”  Ugh…it felt a bit more droopy and gapey and heavy.

I got home from work…

And I was greeted by my very smiley and excited boy.  Best part of my day!  And I got a kiss from my super awesome husband.  He was making dinner, so I hit the couch for a brief horizontal recharge.  He said I deserve it. 🙂

After dinner I got another recharge, and then I took a shower while doing my “evening adjustments.”  Since I felt a wee bit less “lifted” this afternoon, I decided to check myself internally.

Results:

  • Anterior wall of vagina–  Not feeling too droopy there!  Excellent.
  • Cervix– Plenty high!  (That’s never been an issue.)
  • Posterior wall of vagina– A-ha!  A bit of a firm mass there.  Poo-poo in my rectum.  The culprit.

So this tends to help ME when I feel like an impending poop is causing some added symptoms.  I simply use the finger that’s already inserted in my vagina to push on that posterior wall and I kind of massage and “move” my rectal bulge upward.  I stabilize the external skin surrounding the anus with my other hand as a counter pressure.

Note that I don’t have to insert any fingers inside my rectum.  Thankfully!  Note that this blog is all about “TMI” too.  You knew that right?  Are you still with me?  Are you okay with frank anatomical discussions?

Then I got out of the shower and I noticed that the simple little bit of massaging I did helped.  This is not the first time that’s been the case!

On a side note…

It’s cycle day 19.  Last month I got my period at day 25 so I’m still trying to figure out the exact pattern to my symptoms in the days leading up to my period.  What affect did my hormone levels have on me today?  Hmm.

As Scarlett O’hara said…tomorrow IS another day.  (She always cracked me up with how dramatic she was).  I will think about this today and I will think about this tomorrow (still Scarlett talking).  I’m a scientist and an observer.  I’m my own case study.  I make observations.  I see what works.  And I see that change is the only constant.  Like life.

Everything’s physically changing.  Except my mood is stable.  Nothing upsets my peace now!

I am healed.

I Forgot

10-29-15

Two days ago I posted about how I basically never get a break from the annoying sensations in my perineum.  My prolapse symptoms are relatively mild, and the sensations aren’t painful, but it sure would be NICE to feel…

NOTHING.

It’s been over 14 months since I went about my days not noticing my vagina all the time.  Ah…those were the days!  Lack of awareness = Peace!

To be truthful, I have enjoyed a few joyful instances when I stopped in my tracks and realized– in shock and delight– that a few minutes had indeed passed during which my persistent discomfort momentarily disappeared (in more than one case this was facilitated by an alcoholic drink, by the way).

Fleeting moments.  Nothing more.

Today was a day like many recent days.  I felt “decent,” but never without symptoms.  Same as always, I could “feel my vagina” at all times.  But it’s not a big deal.

After I took my boy to play at the park, we went to the grocery store.  And as I was pushing the shopping cart out to the car, I realized that I’d stopped thinking about my perineum.  I hadn’t stopped feeling the pressure sensation, but my attention had fully turned elsewhere for a few minutes.

I thought at that moment…I forgot about my vagina.  It was different than realizing that I momentarily stopped having the sensation.  I hadn’t stopped feeling the feeling.  The feeling was still there.  Yet somehow I was able to forget about it.

Am I making sense?  I’m not sure.

Just know that this was definitely a new and good experience for me today!  It gives me hope that I’ll have more of those reprieves.

I am healed.

 

Walking to the Coffee Shop

09-29-15

Here is one measure of my progress.

Today was Kindermusik day.  We live within walking distance from the park where the activity is held (~1 mile one way), but today I decided to do the longer loop so I could swing by my favorite coffee shop (Vinaccio) on the way there.

The total mileage today was ~3.75 miles, on a mostly level route.

I’ve walked this route (or a slightly longer variation) many times in the past several months, but today I specifically thought about one day last January (2015).

On that January day, I was 5 months post-partum, and I felt REALLY BAD while walking to the coffee shop.  I remember coming to the depressing conclusion at the time that I just wasn’t ready to walk “that far” yet.  (Ugh– 3.75 miles wasn’t and isn’t far at all.)

Fast forward to today.  It was among my best days yet!  I walked feeling REALLY GOOD, and I thought, what a difference ~8 months can make!  I felt so grateful.

Today I wanted to be able to go back and reassure my 5 month post-partum self that it was going to get a LOT better!

Today made me happy.  Being able to comfortably and joyfully walk to the coffee shop to get a little “hug in a mug” gave me peace.  I’m thankful for so much.

I am healed.

 

Picking Up Toys

09-16-15

Toys are everywhere!  And my kid doesn’t pick up after himself!

Haha!  Well, he is only one.

Today I decided that I really should get a reacher, also known as a grabber.  You know– that simple tool that you use to pick up things.  It has other uses too, and it’s something I used with my geriatric Occupational Therapy patients all the time.

When I was pregnant I thought time and time again that I needed to go ahead and GET ONE.  But I didn’t.  Now– publicly– I’m vowing to JUST DO IT.

The best way for me to pick up toys (at the present), is to get down on all fours and crawl along as I fling items in various bins we have throughout the house.  But, naturally, I stand and bend down more times than I’d like.

This morning I briefly wondered what I did months ago, when my symptoms were sooo much worse.  Duh!  I laughed to myself as it quickly dawned on me that my kid wasn’t able to get into things back then.  Boy, the times are changing quickly around here!

The reacher that I WILL buy (and use!) shall be one more tool in my prolapse management arsenal.  Every little bit helps to keep my pelvic organs optimally positioned…and at peace!

I am healed.