November 23, 2015
Ok, here’s one sign of progress…
Over the past several weeks I’ve noticed that I don’t get a little irritable in the evenings anymore. That’s good!!
The reason for that is I FEEL BETTER. It used to be that some part of pretty much every day gave me reason to be just a “little bit” annoyed, up to “quite a bit” frustrated! Most of the time, I held myself together pretty well. Yet, I did notice a pattern in the evenings.
Since afternoon/evening was the time of day when I’d statistically feel the worst, and since that time of day is when there’s always a lot going on (dinner, anyone?), I did become aware of myself losing patience more than is my usual nature.
Generally, it wasn’t because of anything my husband or baby did or didn’t do. It was simply how my sadness and anger would seep out of me. It was like a little steam vent. I hardly ever boiled over (the few times I did were days I just broke down and cried), but there had to be some way to release the extra pressure.
Once I recognized that my irritability was surfacing regularly, I worked hard to apply better coping mechanisms. And I was fairly successful with that.
I think I once brought the topic up to my husband. I’m pretty sure he responded that he didn’t even notice my mood changes. Yes, my evening mood shift was subtle on the outside even though it didn’t seem so subtle on the inside. Mostly it was an internal battle.
Finally one day I noticed the lack of irritability. It was gone! Hooray!
And here I am now. Lately I remain happy, calm, patient and positive well into the evenings. It’s not forced, and it’s not for show. I really do feel more peaceful…because I feel physically better. It’s as simple as that.
I am healed.