I Forgot

10-29-15

Two days ago I posted about how I basically never get a break from the annoying sensations in my perineum.  My prolapse symptoms are relatively mild, and the sensations aren’t painful, but it sure would be NICE to feel…

NOTHING.

It’s been over 14 months since I went about my days not noticing my vagina all the time.  Ah…those were the days!  Lack of awareness = Peace!

To be truthful, I have enjoyed a few joyful instances when I stopped in my tracks and realized– in shock and delight– that a few minutes had indeed passed during which my persistent discomfort momentarily disappeared (in more than one case this was facilitated by an alcoholic drink, by the way).

Fleeting moments.  Nothing more.

Today was a day like many recent days.  I felt “decent,” but never without symptoms.  Same as always, I could “feel my vagina” at all times.  But it’s not a big deal.

After I took my boy to play at the park, we went to the grocery store.  And as I was pushing the shopping cart out to the car, I realized that I’d stopped thinking about my perineum.  I hadn’t stopped feeling the pressure sensation, but my attention had fully turned elsewhere for a few minutes.

I thought at that moment…I forgot about my vagina.  It was different than realizing that I momentarily stopped having the sensation.  I hadn’t stopped feeling the feeling.  The feeling was still there.  Yet somehow I was able to forget about it.

Am I making sense?  I’m not sure.

Just know that this was definitely a new and good experience for me today!  It gives me hope that I’ll have more of those reprieves.

I am healed.

 

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