Dear Pudendal Nerve

10-27-15

For this blog post, I’m going to write a letter…

Dear Pudendal Nerve,

Can you please tone it down for 5 minutes, already?

I know you’re there, delivering sensory information from my perineum, up to my brain.  Yeah, I get it, you’re doing your job.  But can’t you just take a break every once in a while?

You see, the information you deliver is NOT USEFUL to me.  Got it?  When you incessantly signal my brain with the message, “pressure, pressure,” it DOESN’T HELP me.

When you send a message, please consider that I only need to be alerted when there’s a real PROBLEM.  I don’t consider it to be a problem unless something is actually falling out of me…OKAY?

So I don’t need you acting like a broken record!  Hello…it’s annoying, so stop!  I don’t need you telling me every second (when I’m standing up) that certain organs in my pelvic region are slightly off-kilter.  I mean…what I am supposed to DO that I’m not already doing?

Hmm?

I really want to work with you on this, because you know that I do appreciate all the good sensations you bring.  Thank you so much for those.  Please know that I’m grateful!

But, pudendal nerve, can we just agree on some new terms?  Can you please transmit all pleasurable sensations but only transmit the uncomfortable/painful sensations that denote a serious situation?

I don’t want you to waste your energy, and I don’t want to be burdened with having to process a lot of low level “noise.”  Why don’t you relax?  You don’t have to work so hard…really!  Thank you so much.

Sincerely,

Finding Peace

P.S.  I am healed, so it really is okay to stop!

 

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