One year ago- when my baby was just a few weeks old– I was at a very low point in my life as a new mom. September 7th sticks out in my head as the “low day,” in fact. After that day, my mood started going up. My primary problem at the time was my struggle to breast feed. I’d gotten to the point where I just had to accept that breastfeeding wasn’t working and it wasn’t going to work. Once I was able to accept organic soy formula as being a positive thing for my baby and for our family (and not a form of poison!), things got a lot easier. Amazingly, I pretty quickly got over my heartache surrounding my breastfeeding “failure.” (Once I saw how much my boy was thriving.)
One year later, EVERYTHING is better! One year ago, I did not have the opportunity to remain horizontal on the couch for the hours and hours that my very very sore perineum desperately needed. Back then, I had no choice but to SIT for breastfeeding attempts, SIT for pumping (tiny amounts of milk at that), and STAND (in agony) while I repeatedly washed bottles and pump parts.
This morning I was feeling tired and lazy (my boy was up early today, at 5:30 AM). I just wanted to spend some time lying on the couch, so that’s what I did! It was no problem because my one year old just had fun playing in the living room near me. As I was horizontal, I thought about last year and how I was not able to do that.
My perineum is always happy in the horizontal position, that’s one truth. It’s a position of peace, that’s for sure!
I loved my newborn baby, but I will admit that all things considered, I love having a one year old a lot more! And– on this note, he’s waking up from his nap. Gotta go…
I am healed!